A tale of a tattoo
Today I got tattooed. For someone like me who has many tattoos, this isn’t an irregular thing, though it has been a while since my last one what with lockdown and all.
This one is special though. Most of mine have meaning, or a place in my personal history, a couple perhaps don’t but we were all young and stupid at one point. This has 2 different streams of thought. One is the K-Pop angle, and the other is to focus my mental health.
As I have mentioned time and time again, I honestly believe K-Pop saved a part of me from a pretty miserable time. Lockdown and a pretty shitty 'friendship (with benefits)' was having an impact. Getting in to K-Pop returned happiness to me in a way I never expected it to. I used to listen to noise music ffs so when I say it was like a switch clicked, I really mean it. I have my girl gang who followed me down the rabbit hole and it’s been brilliant but everyone else I was ever relatively close with just thought I’d finally gone mad. No. I’d got my happy back after so many years. This star was inspired by my favourite K-Pop band, Monsta X — to be fair they bring it quite a bit harder than most of the bands but still very different to where I came from musically. Also Monsta is like the French word for My Star, so nothing monstrous about that. It made sense to take inspiration from the star on the cover of their Fantasia album really….also that album totally bangs!!
The mental health angle is that I finally realise how important it is that my happiness comes first. I tried so hard to be someone I wasn’t to appeal to people who didn’t care at all about me. I need to focus on me. The people who are supposed to be in your life will be there. Having the star on my hand, somewhere I can see it, will always remind me that if I’m losing who I am or losing my happiness to appeal to or make someone else happy, I need to back away pretty damn quickly. I am a natural people pleaser so sometimes this is hard for me to see. I hope the star will be my guiding star to a life filled with happiness, fun and adventure…which is all I’ve ever really wanted. You may find it silly that it took a K-Pop band for me to figure this out but I believe music is magic. It can heal you, make you dance, make you cry, set a mood….it’s like a glue that holds the universe together, and brings you back to you.
I don’t believe the band will ever see this, but thank you ❤️ and yeah, sorry, you got me for life now 😂
